When your child gets a new Bible…

We hand out bibles to 2nd graders every year in May. Our church values children and this is one of the ways we celebrate significant milestones in their lives. However, we know that if we want them to develop a love for God’s word, it has to be in partnership with the families. So for our part, parents can count on our teachers and shepherds encouraging the kids to bring their bibles each week and use them in class. They’ll help them learn to find the books and chapters and get comfortable using the tools in the bible. They will also offer rewards for scripture memorization and for bringing their bible to church.

All of that will only go so far when we see them for one or two hours a week. And the parent can have only so much influence at home too.  But if we work together, the impact is tremendous! So join us in this adventure and turn your child into a bible reader for life! Try one or more of these ideas at home:

Personalize it: Get your child a Bible cover that protects the book and makes it easy to carry. Include a bible highlighter, a pencil or pen and a few bookmarks. Purchase child-friendly bible tabs to help them easily find the 66 individual books of the bible. Explain to your child that this book is their own and they can highlight, underline, write notes in the margins and even draw in the blank spots.

Enrich it: Invite parents, grandparents, other family and friends to underline or highlight their favorite stories or verses; then sign it and identify it as their favorite. Have those same family members or close friends write a letter to your child explaining the significance of the bible in their own lives. They can include their own favorite scriptures and meanings behind them and they can end with a prayer of blessing for the child and their bible. Ask the pastors and leaders of our church what their favorite scripture passages are and why. Do this through email so you can print off their responses and keep them in a special place. By the way, one of my favorite scriptures is Isaiah 40:29-31. It really helps when I feel weary or out of strength (physical and mental).

Bless it: Ask a pastor, parent, or grandparent to pray over the child and their bible. Gather as a family and put the child and their bible in the middle of a circle. Pray a special blessing, or have each person take turns saying a prayer.

Explore it: Help your child discover the table of contents, the concordance and other special sections of their bible. Try utilizing those sections for finding new stuff in the bible. Look at the unique ways this children’s bible is laid out and let your child explore the fun sections.

Celebrate it: Create or go out for a special meal to celebrate this milestone. Bring the Bible and talk to the child about how important this day is in their lives. Explain why you want them to have a bible and how they can use it in their daily lives.

Carry it: All of the celebration, discovery and enrichment of a bible will not matter if the child does not learn to use it on a daily basis. Encourage them to take it to church each week. Teach them to go to it for answers when life brings tough situations. Read parts of the bible during your regular bedtime routine, and discuss its meaning afterward.

Model it: The best way to teach a child to do something is through modeling it for them. Let them see you reading your bible. Even if you normally do this after or before they are awake, take a few opportunities to read it in front of them. Talk about how you found an important scripture in your readings that helped you. Carry your bible to church with you and keep it handy at home. The more they see you opening the bible, the more they will want to open their own.

I can hear what some of you are thinking – “What if I am new to this whole Bible thing myself? What if I don’t know the answers to their questions about the bible?” This is where it is important to understand that God isn’t expecting you all to be bible experts. God just wants to use you to show your family his love and grace. This means you can quit worrying about what you know or don’t know about God and the Bible. Just be honest with your kids. If you got a late start on your walk with God, tell them that. If you have never really read or understood the bible yourself, tell them that too. If you can’t answer their questions about the bible or God, just say, “I don’t know” and find the answers together. Learn to turn to your church family, the pastors and other leaders to find answers. Pray about things you want to understand and pray with your child. Be willing to accept the mystery of God. After all, if we understood everything about God, we wouldn’t need him would we? God will honor your eagerness to know and understand him. God loves you and wants to know you better. One great way to get to know God is by exploring the bible along side your family.

May God bless you and your family! Pastor Tina

Just Talk About It

The Search Institute published research findings from a study called Effective Christian Education: A National Study of Protestant Congregations. These findings tell us what factors were involved in producing adults who now profess a mature faith. Here’s what they found:

Certain personal experiences have a measurable positive impact on the maturity of faith of the believer. The most powerful of these experiences is conversations about God with one’s mother during the ages of 5-12. But among mainline denominations 16-18-year-olds, almost 40% say that conversation rarely or never occurred.

Talking with one’s father about faith or about God at the ages of 13-15 is another powerful correlate with mature faith, but 56% say this has happened rarely or never for them. Other powerful experiences for children and youth are talking with other relatives about faith, the experience of having family talks about faith, family service projects, and the number of friends who have strong religious interests.

Take away: Parents, talk to your kids about their faith and yours. I’ve been saying this for years; you don’t have to have formal family devotions, just make your faith a part of every day life and conversation. Make a point of using the words, God, Jesus and Faith every day. You’ll be surprised how easy it is when you try. When you struggle with an issue, talk about it, ask for prayers, and do the same for your kids. Point out when you see God’s handiwork. Talk about how God works or has worked in your life. You don’t have to show them a perfect picture of a Christian, just talk. You’ll be teaching them that Christianity is a way of life, not an event on Sundays.

Rwanda day 7

Today was our final day in the Butare area of Rwanda. We visited a few more groups and a few individual families. These are all in their first year of Zoe and they are filled with hope for their future. Each are working on group farming projects and beginning their individual businesses.

We met with one particular family who has a horrific story. Their parents were both survivors of the genocide. They lived comfortably with their five children and a grandmother. In 2010, when the community trials began for the genocide in their area, perpetrators of the genocide threw a grenade into their home so they could not bear witness to the crimes. The three older children were not at home but the two little ones (age 2 and 3) were with their parents. The parents were killed instantly, one child was not harmed and the other was hit by much shrapnel. The killers came into the home and told the babies their mother was sleeping and to go lay by her. So they did. You can imagine how traumatized they were. In fact, Epiphany would not allow us to ask their story as is the norm when we visit the children. She told us ahead of time and allowed the children to tell us only of their life for the past two years, before and after Zoe.

We ended our day in Kigali, where we would be staying for the night. We ate dinner at Hotel de Mille Collines, otherwise known as Hotel Rwanda, made famous by the movie that tells of refuge offered at the hotel during the 100-day genocide.  It was a very nice hotel and we ate by the pool with excellent service and a band playing in the background. We felt the stark contrast of our experiences over the past week with this extravagant setting. How do we justify to ourselves this difference? Not only then, but as we enter into life in America again. Where poor means an entirely different thing than in Rwanda. Where all of us have more than we need. I don’t have the answers. I only know what Jesus tells us and that is to love God above all else and to love our neighbors as ourselves. When we act out of that love, we use all that we have to serve others. I pray I can love that way.

Tomorrow we visit the genocide museum before boarding the plane. Grace and peace to you all.

Rwanda day 6

Everything in Zoe is done through working groups of 80-100 children. At their first meeting they elect a chairperson, a secretary and a treasurer. They also select a few mentors from adults who have been kind to them in their community. Then, they have regular meetings and decide how to distribute resources. They attend trainings and learn to have compassion for one another and build each other up. When one child is struggling, the others help.

Today we met a young family with the head of household (the oldest child) at age 14. He and his two siblings, twelve and eight years old, had been alone for seven years when Zoe found them. Because they were struggling more than others, the group helped them build a garden and an outhouse. That the other children can share so soon and while still struggling themselves is amazing.

Another pair of brothers, ages 12 and 13, had their small business of charcoal production stolen. They will find solace in the group. They are going to start a co-op with others and begin to watch out for each other. The mentor and other group leaders will work together to help them.

I am in awe of God at work in these children. A completely desperate situation can be turned around in a matter of months with hope, love and support of community. These children still have a long way to go. Their road is still hard. Continue to pray for them and support them in any way you can.

Final visits tomorrow as we head to Kigali for our last night in Rwanda. I am in love with this country. It will be sad to leave.

Rwanda day 3

Today, I was surprised by God. I don’t know why I am ever surprised by a God so big and so good, but he is working miracles beyond what I thought possible. In our visits today, the theme seemed to be one of orphans giving back to their community and to other orphans. These kids, who have only been off the streets for two years, now have their own businesses of farming, livestock, tailoring, construction, craft making and others. And, because they now have enough to live on and have some saved, they, on their own accord, decided to share with those around them.

One community went to train another younger community in their farming skills. Another group gave away ten goats to ten needy families in their neighborhood. They did not even know these families, but asked the local officials to direct them to those who were the most in need. It was a powerful moment when a child gave a goat to an elderly lady who could barely stand, then says it is because God showed him love and told him to show love to others by sharing with them.

We listened to Grace share her story of losing 9 siblings and her parents in the genocide, leaving her to live with an abusive aunt who eventually rejected her. As tears rolled down her face (and ours), she said that once she had a home and food to eat she went to find another orphan who she had met and adopted her. Grace is only 18.

We talked to a group of girls who were able to go to trade school through Zoe. Now they make beautiful clothing and are teaching others their trade so they do not have to pay for school.

We ended the day eating bread made by Vincent, who made enough to share with his group while we all celebrated their success. They gave us some beautiful hand-made gifts and a chicken. Yes, a live chicken. You will have to hear that story in person. That same young man apologized to his community for being a problem before Zoe. He said he used to steal, but now he is a respected leader in the group and is doing all he can to help his neighbors.

These kids are beautiful, humbling, and inspiring.  I wish you could all be here to see them and hug them, but we are showering them with love for you. Grace and peace be with you. More tomorrow…

Rwanda day 2

It has been a day full of stories, prayers, singing, dancing, celebrating, and cow-chasing. Yes, you read that correctly — cow-chasing. We were to present one of the orphan groups with cows, but the cattle were not cooperating. So, there were some “muzungoos” (the name for non-Rwandan people) running around, chasing cows and looking pretty silly.

We visited three villages that are all part of the community our church supports. Each of these groups are in their third year of a three-year program. They will graduate from the Zoe empowerment program later this year. This means they are almost completely self-sufficient now. They can provide their own food, they have homes to lives in and they can even make some food to save and help others. It is amazing because most of these families are led by children. Yet, this program uses their child-like faith, curiosity and energy to their favor. I tell people often that children can achieve great things just as adults, and this is a testament to that belief.

We heard many children tell stories of life on the street — begging, stealing, or working a full day for just a few bananas. When they went to the initial Zoe meeting in their communities some were disappointed because they just wanted food. They did not want to start a new life, work with others, or even trust adults who were trying to help them. They had no hope and no belief that they were worthy. Some said they did not even feel human. But now, two years later, they dance, sing and celebrate how good God has been to them. Their faith and perseverance are incredible. I wish you all could be here to see their beautiful faces and feel their hugs. Continue to pray for them, for life is still hard and there are still obstacles to overcome.

Teaching Wisdom

Read the Parable of the 10 Bridesmaids in Matthew 25:1-13. Read this from a children’s bible or substitute the word “Bridesmaid” for “Virgin” in an adult bible. This will save you some extra explanation with younger kids!

The Bible story is about the ten young ladies–five had oil in their lamps (to be able to see where they were going) and five had none so they were not ready. The first five were wise. They knew they would need their lamps from experience, so they made a wise choice to get the oil and be ready when the bridegroom came for them.

Wisdom is about knowing what is right and then doing the right thing. The first five were wise; they knew what to do and they did it.

Ask: Why do you think the other five were not ready? (Maybe they thought they had plenty of time, maybe they were lazy, maybe they didn’t care, etc.) How do you think they felt when they could not get back in to see the bridegroom because they had not prepared? Do you think they regretted their choices?

Share about a time when you were not prepared and ready. Let other family members share as well. Discuss why you were unprepared. Was it laziness, lack of understanding, defiance?

Talk about the wisdom of being prepared. Plan a fire drill. Practice a setting when you see the fire occur (as in a fire while cooking), and a setting when the fire is detected by smoke alarms (as if you were asleep). Discuss what you learned from practicing and adapt your plan. This is wisdom in process. Knowing the right thing to do, practicing, using the experience to adapt, and then being ready to do the right thing.

Talk about ways you can be wise in other settings (school, work, friendships, etc.)

 

Words kids need to hear

A while back my then 8-year-old son said, “Mom, what do you think I should be when I grow up?” My immediate thought was, “He could be anything he wants to be, but how do I communicate that to him so he really knows it in his core?” I decided to state the obvious. “Grayson, you are so smart and creative;  you could really be anything you want to be.” He just grinned and said, “Yea, you’re right.” He obviously had that message down!

We have discussed this topic over the years, but it is usually me bringing it up to remind him how much I believe in him. That is one of those core messages I want my children to get. You probably have a few of those messages as well. However, a lot of those messages only let children know what we think.  I would rather find words that build them up on the inside and give them the confidence they need to make it in this world.

David Staal, a former Children’s Minister has written a book called Words Kids Need to Hear.  It is a short and simple book that could easily be read in a day or two. I recommend it to all parents or people who have a strong influence in a child’s life. You can find it through Zondervan.com.  Staal gives us 7 phrases that can make a significant impact on our children. They are: I believe in you; You can count on me; I treasure you; Because; No; I love you, and I’m sorry, please forgive me. I really appreciate how Staal gives examples and stories to demonstrate how to pack these messages into our every day lives. If you are like me, some of these messages I am already good at passing on to my kiddos, but there are a few that I need to work on. What I love about these phrases is that there is a balance in them. Not only are we to teach them that they can count on us, but also to tell them we are sorry and ask for forgiveness when we fail.  We are to convey how much we love and treasure them, but at the same time use the word “no” when necessary as a way to demonstrate healthy boundaries.

Keep in mind I am not suggesting we should all carefully scrutinize or choose every word we say to our children. That would only set us up to fail. Don’t we beat ourselves up enough as parents? No, these phrases are meant to give you a few simple words that can have a profound impact on a child’s life, despite the other negative messages they receive and the various ways we mess up as parents.

All kids have their ups and downs. Some more than others. Kids need a person who they can share anything that’s on the mind. They need to hear loving words so they don’t believe all the negativity they hear everywhere else. Talk with your kids and find other adults who will be encouragers in their lives as well. Together we will tell them the words they need to hear.

 

You’re Unique, Stinky Feet

Helping kids find their true selves, the one God created them to be, is part of my mission in life. I long to see kids who are comfortable being themselves and growing into the person God created them to be. This can happen, but it takes a a lot of help from praying, encouraging, Godly adults. One such adult wrote a poem to encourage her own children, and it so strongly speaks to the God-Confidence I am trying to help kids find, that I had to share. Its cute, catchy and true. I hope you will share it with the children in your life.

You’re Unique, Stinky Feet

by Stephanie Keeney

 Do you have freckles or dimples? Are you messy or neat?

Do you have braces or glasses or big stinky feet?

Are you ticklish or pricklish? Or quiet or loud?

Are you a leader or part of the crowd?

Dark skin, light skin, tall or short?

Watch in the stands or play on the court?

Have an innie or an outie? Like the cold or the heat?

Missing tooth? Birthmark? Allergic to wheat?

We’re not all the same, it’s plain to see. It’s just the way we’re meant to be!

Brown eyes or blue eyes? Or hazel or green?

Or maybe a color somewhere in-between?

Long hair or short? Curly, wavy or straight?

Are you sometimes on time, or occasionally late?

Left-handed, right-handed, skinny or plump?

A homerun hitter or in a slight slump?

Are you wiggly or giggly? Little or big?

Perhaps you are bald, or wearing a wig?

We’re not all the same, it’s plain to see. Just be the best you that you can be!

God made you so special, and it shows,

Right down to the tips of your pinky toes!

So be proud of yourself and what makes you You!

‘Cause you’re unique, stinky feet…and guess what?

I am too!

Another Piece to the Puzzle

Helping kids find their true selves, the one God created them to be, is a lot like finding the right puzzle pieces to create a beautiful picture. We see the pieces and they look nice on their own, but find the right pieces, put them all together, and it can be beautiful, mesmerizing, and even glorious. I am on a quest to help kids find the right pieces for their individual pictures, then put them in place to see them flourish. I want to help them find their confidence in Christ.

We know self-confidence helps kids avoid peer pressure, drugs, bullying and other negative behaviors. Nonetheless, I want to take it a step further. I desire to help our children create a more radiant picture with their puzzle pieces. I know God created all of us to shine brightly in this world. He wants us to stand out so others see us and are drawn to Him. But standing out in a positive way is counter-cultural.  It’s particularly hard for kids. As an adult, I have to daily remind myself that God created me to be me and no one else. I have to retell myself how much God loves me, just as I am, warts and all.  If it takes that much effort for us as adults, how much harder is it for kids who are in the developmental phase of finding their identity? What are the barriers to this “God-confidence?”

Dr. Brene’ Brown says shame is a major obstacle to any kind of confidence for most people. She explains we have these tapes playing in our head telling us two predominant messages. The first is “I’m not good enough” and the other is “Who do I think I am?” You know these thoughts; we’ve all had them.  Overcoming them takes courage and vulnerability. It is hard to try something different, approach new people, risk failure, or share a novel idea when we think we’re not good enough and have no right to achieve great things anyway.

Dr. Brown proposes empathy as a missing piece. She shares this analogy: If shame is put in a petri dish, it needs secrecy, silence and judgment to grow.  If we put it in the same bowl with empathy, it is stifled. Essentially, when we say to kids, “I understand” or “Me too” we fill in a hole that exists in their confidence puzzle. When we remind them God understands them and Jesus lived on this earth experiencing the same human feelings, we help them shape their God-confidence as well.

What if we not only added empathy to the puzzle, but also, “I love you despite your flaws, mistakes, and issues.” It’s the perfect love God provides. We strive to offer it to our children, but it’s hard because we are not God, we are human.  But we can remind our kids that God does provide that love. Remind them He created them to be radiant, beautiful individuals, and if they try to be someone else, the world is missing out on God’s gift.

We thank God our children are wonderfully made (Psalm 139:13-14), but finding the right pieces for each child’s puzzle is not easy or instantaneous. However, when we put adults in their lives who will offer understanding, compassion, empathy, and love, they may be able to run a new narrative in their heads. One that says, “I am worthy of love” and “I am a unique, special child of God.” What a beautiful picture that will be.